Have you ever had a friend who used your own feelings to control you? If so, you might have experienced emotional blackmail. Regular blackmail is when someone knows a secret about you. And they force you to do something or else they'll tell. Emotional blackmail is a little different. It is when someone uses your own feelings of fear or guilt to force you to behave how they want.

Of course, every good friendship requires some give and take. But it is important to recognize the difference between being asked to compromise and emotional blackmail. The former is healthy and reasonable. The latter is cruel and harmful. Might your friend be using emotional blackmail against you? There are 6 warning signs on the next page.

Six Warning Signs of Emotional Blackmail
• Your friend acts hurt if you want to do something against their wishes.
• Your friend embarrasses you publicly until you agree to their wishes.
• Your friend threatens to take away something you love until you do what they want.
• Your friend threatens to physically hurt either you or themselves to get you to do (or not do) something.
• Your friend blames you for something that wasn't your fault. And they won't "forgive you" until you do what they want.
• Your friend accuses you of doing something you didn't do for the same reason as above.

From personal experience, I can tell you being emotionally blackmailed is not a nice thing. No one deserves to go through it. If you find that your friend often emotionally blackmails you, you need to very seriously consider breaking things off. Unhealthy friendships bring nothing but misery!

你是否遇過朋友利用你的感覺來控制你的情況？如果遇過，你可能已經歷到「情緒勒索」這種負面行為。一般勒索是指有人知道你的秘密，而強迫你做某事。但情緒勒索有點不同，是利用你的恐懼感或罪惡感，來操控你做出順從他們要求的行為。

當然，每一段良好的友情，都需要做到施與受。但重點在於辨認出「被要求妥協」和「情緒勒索」的差異。前者健康且合理，後者殘忍又有害。你的朋友是否可能在對你情緒勒索？右頁列出了 6 種警示跡象。

情緒勒索的 6 種警示跡象
•如果你想做出違背你朋友所希望的事時，他們會表現出極度受傷的樣子。
•你的朋友會在公開場合讓你無地自容，直到你同意做出讓他們開心的事為止。
•你的朋友威脅要拿走你心愛的某樣東西，直到你做出他們要你做的事為止。
•你的朋友威脅要傷害你或他們的身體，來讓你做（或不做）某事。
•你的朋友會為了錯不在你的事責備你，讓你覺得你必須聽從他們的要求，他們才會原諒你。
• 你的朋友為了一件你沒有做的事指控你，指控的原因與上述相同。

以我的個人經驗來說，被如此情緒勒索一點都不好受。沒有人該經歷這種事。如果你發現朋友經常對你情緒勒索，你就需要非常認真地考慮快刀斬亂麻。不健康的友情，除了帶來災難以外一無是處。